Real Men of Vana'diel

[lockejv]

Spoof of the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" radio commercials. I especially enjoyed the THF tribute!

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Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. Warrior/White Mage.
(Mr. Warrior/Whitemage)

While most tanks rely on a mage to heal them, you remain self sufficient.
(dont' need no mages)

Some may call you a noob or gimp....but you never have to ask for Poisona.
(poisons no problem)

Cure 1 and 2, and most importantly, Barfira, put you leagues ahead of the other Warriors in your eyes.
(watch my HP go up now)

Most Players would just level PLD or NIN, you fail to see why they are any better than WAR/WHM. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Ghetto Paladin. In fact..make it a couple, because you're gonna be LFG for a long time
(gonna be seeking a long time)

Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

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Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. AFK without warning White Mage.
(Mr. AFK without warning White Mage)

People are too dependant on healers....you aim to teach them otherwise.
(that'll learn ya!)

Not only do you not do anything while AFK, you don't do anything while you are there either.
(macros don't work now)

You are saving valuable seconds by not typing AFK, allowing you to make that sandwich you have been craving that much sooner.
(loving that bologna)

You teleported them, you buffed them...now they expect you to hang around and help them fight. Well..not today my friends.
(im off the clock now)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. AFK without warning White Mage. Sure, the tank may be getting his ass beat in....but it will taste great with that sandwich.
(Mr. AFK without warning White Mage)

Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

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Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. HNMLS Theif Guy.
(Mr. HNMLS Theif guy)

Of all your skills and abilities....they only want you for Treasure Hunter.
(gotta get that loot now)

So important Treasure Hunter is, that you will spend weeks camping a Tonberry to increase it by a walloping 1%.
(Sozu gonna pop soon)

The millions you have spent on gear certainly come in handy at LS events....especially the add-parties.
(better zone that Coarse yeah)

When the time is right, you selflessly throw yourself in harm's way in hopes of getting the good items...and are ridiculed when they most assuredly don't drop.
(Hearld's Gaiters where now)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh Whore of the Loot pool....but be sure to finish it before the mob is at 10%HP.
(Mr. HNMLS Theif Guy)

Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

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Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. Think I'm Japanese Guy.
(Mr. Think I'm Japanese Guy)

Being born in white suburbia wasn't your choice, had it been, you would have chosen Japan.
(wide eyes aren't my fault now).

Everyday you put on your Sailor Moon T-shirt and log into FFXI, and try to interact with people who want nothing to do with you.
(living in mom's basement)

Although some NA players can speak Japanese, you don't speak a word. You're clever use of "w" and "orz" allows you to blend in....or so you think.
(wwwwwww orz now)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh downloader of hardcore hentai. And as you finish that plate of sushi, you may find out that the Japanese players you are kissing up to are acutally Chinese gilframers.
(Mr. Think I'm Japanese Guy)


Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

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Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. Aggro everything on the way to camp guy.
(Mr. Aggro everything on the way to camp guy.)

Everyone loves a challenge, and you make getting to an xp camp that much more challenging.
(this is gonna get rough now)

Solid Snake didn't use Prism Powders and Silent oils...and he was half the man you are.
(snake got nothing on me yeah)

While lesser players stop to cast sneak and invisible, you run head first into a field of foes...laughing at the danger..and then beggin for a raise.
(what do you mean we got now whm)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Train Conductor....and while your at it, open a few more for the 4 Exorays, 3 Rumbler Crawler, 5 Blazer Beetles and the Mushuushu you brought along with you.
(Mr. Aggro everything on the way to camp guy.)

Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

[tarick]

I lol'd

[Beren]

Heehee.

[Damfool]

LOL to much time on someone hands

[lolAerya]

no doubt, lol

[Kaifu1]

I'm glad there wasn't a DRG one...

[_Code]

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Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. Summoner In Artifact Gear.
(Mr. Summoner In Artifact Gear)

While most people think avatar perpetuation down at 50 is priceless, You'd rather be a green unicorn with +3 INT
(You'll be nukin' now!)

Some Summoners may want to Blood Pact every 50 seconds, with cheaper avatars.....But your armor was free!
(Look like a leprechaun, yeah!)

Your avatar has enmity down 5, so solo'ing is out of the question, but at least you dont look like a Hobo.
(Got any spare change, mister?)

Most Players would save up monthes for a Vermillion Cloak, or 5 days for Penance gear, but not you, you'd rather look like rainbow bright. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Summoner In Artifact Gear, who cares about stats, practicality, or functionality. Besides Square wouldn't have given us worthless gear, right?
(What's up: Scouts Jerkin, Stumbling Shoes, Spelunkers Hat, Warlock's Boots.... )

Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

[_Code]

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Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. Red Mage Who Only Wears Vermillion Cloak.
(Mr. Red Mage Who Only Wears Vermillion Cloak.)

Some Red Mages would want +15 Enfeebling Skill and Fast Cast Enhancement. But not you! You have Refresh!
(+1 a tick, yeah!!)

Sure your losing 3 INT, 24 MP, 20 Defense, Fast Cast Enhancement, 10 Elemental Magic, and 10 Enfeebling Magic; but you spent 10 million on yours!
(No need for the two best artifact peices here!)

A Windurstian Flag on your chest, and armor based upon the same gear every mage has worn since the dunes. But yours is RED!
(Vermillion means Red, baby)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Red Mage Who Only Wears Vermillion Cloak, who cares if your nukes are constantly resisted, you can only enfeeble Easy Prey, and you look like a Red Ewok, You have Refresh and evasion down.
(Even a Ranger could hit me )

Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

[corran]

lockejv said:

Everyday you put on your Sailor Moon T-shirt

Although some NA players can speak Japanese, you don't speak a word. You're clever use of "w" and "orz" allows you to blend in....or so you think.

Awesome, lol

[corran]

codeine said:

(Even a Ranger could hit me )

You have to wonder who got cut down more? The RDM being a n00b or the RNG being as good as he can be? :-D

[lolAerya]

codeine said:

(Even a Ranger could hit me )

roflmao! (burn)!!!!
losing 15 enfeebling there though but lol, good one ^^

[lockejv]

lockejv said:

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Train Conductor....and while your at it, open a few more for the 4 Exorays, 3 Rumbler Crawlers, 5 Blazer Beetles and the Mushuushu you brought along with you.

I somehow didn't read this last paragraph, I love it! And nice work Code!

[tarick]

ok, I'll try my hand at one.

Bud light presents....Real Men of Vana'diel
(real men of vana'diel)

Today we salute you...Mr. Always in a Subligar.
(Mr. Always in a subligar!)

While most would be too modest to wear the shortest of shorts, you proudly display what mother nature has given you
(love my adult diaper)

They may say that you look revolting, but you know they just don't have the sac to make such a bold fashion statement
(Is Displaying your sac a fashion statement?)

And you know, the only thing better than a man in a subligar, is a man in a subligar...dancing
(spam that /panic motion, now)

So crack open a Bud Light Mr. Always wears a subligar, because while a pair of pants might prevent people from seeing disgustingly hairy bikini line, it WON'T give +5 attack.
(Mr. Always wears a suuuuubligar)

Bud Light BEER, Annheiser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

[lockejv]

classic!

[corran]

I'm starting to feel that Tarick is a little obsessed with the subligar?