For all the Tech Support people

[aidar]

I notice we have quite a few Tech Support reps in EO, here is for all the "Customer Service"



Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it
just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD
player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry....

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates, damn it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer
and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: bsp; Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."

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And last but not least:

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

[estara]

hehehe!

I am so happy to say that when I call Customer Service I am not that dumb.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer
and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it...

My dad interviews people for the place he works at to see what their "computer mythology" is, cause he's the computer tech guy there (its a small organization). He says its easier to deal with those sorts of problems if you what kind of myths people have about computers.

[Nauren]

Rep: Hi, good afternoon. Thanks you for Calling Comcast digital Cable Technical Line. How may I help you.

Old lady: I'm having a problem.

Rep: Ok. Can I have your phone number please?

Old Lady: Why do you need that?

Rep: To access your account.

Old Lady: FOR CHEESE? ISN'T THIS VELVEETA!?!?





very sad but true story

[estara]

poor old lady

[aidar]

lmao Nauren!!

[putumayo]

ROFL OMGS!~!!!!!!!!!! ahahahahahahahaha aidar those are AWESOME i laughed my ass off.

[Kaifu1]

what could make a lady do that?

[Conina]

lol, once i set up a service call for a lady who's security alarm system was making a beeping noise every morning. 3 service calls and 1 panel replacement later (the tech really didnt know what was causing the noise only that it couldnt be the alarm system but the woman was convinced it was), she was still having a problem. So i say, "ok, is there anything, anything at all in the last week that you have changed i dont care how small of a change" She says " well, i did hang an atomic clock up over the alarm keypad last wed." I sent the tech there for the 4th time and he returns and says "It was an atomic clock set to go off every morning at 6am".

ROFL

luckily her system was covered under warranty and any parts we replaced were reusable. All we were out was time and pride lol