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Post by -=[Tork]=- on Feb 5, 2006 21:30:19 GMT -5
fucking hating college, my teacher called me unethical the other day because i wrote a speech about being lazy and "taking it easy" and she gave me a zero and said i couldn't make it up.... so i'm fucking furious here is the outline for it.
Brandon Price
How to take it easy in life.
General Purpose: To teach
Specific Purpose: To teach my audience how to live their lives without accomplishment.
Central Idea: To teach my audience about how to live an unfulfilling life with these easy and fun steps to follow.
Introduction:
Attention: Have you ever thought about a life without any worries filled with moments of complacent bliss, so glorious in fact that society shuns it?
Importance: Today so many people run on auto-pilot, going to and fro from their jobs to their homes, well why not just cut out that job part completely? Living the easy life will increase pleasure and make you happily unaware of the problems outside.
Creditability: I’d have to say that I am the greatest test subject for this kind of lifestyle and having lived it for several years; I am well informed with the methods and the results.
Preview: In this speech you to will learn how to maximize your laziness and decrease the amount of time you spend working each week while achieving absolutely nothing!
Body
I. First off we have to discuss how you will fund this life long expedition in laziness.
A) Finding the right job with a balance of easy and decent pay kind be difficult but it is possible, A job life a night security guard or a job where you can easily slip off into the night and play your hand held video game are some examples.
1. Now balancing your schedule of TV watching and video game playing with work is the next important part to funding your lifestyle of leisure.
2. I’d suggest finding a job within 2 min of work so after those late nights of online gaming you can make it to work within in minutes of waking up.
B) Another possible method of funding is Good Ol’ mommy and daddy.
1. Now you have to gain access to their hearts, they may sound a tad evil but you are going to have to comprise some of your morals from your old life to successfully achieve the desired results.
2. You can live with them or move out but this is definitely going to be the highest return for least amount of actual work.
C) The last method is similar to the last but it is a bit more difficult, finding a sugar daddy or mommy
1. I haven’t met too many of these types of people in my days they go about funding their lives through leaching off of their significant others
2. To keep this up you have to give yourself over to submission and greater control by that other “rich” man or women.
Transition
II. Increasing the laziness factor is something that may take careful planning
A) To truly utilize the time you have available for laziness I suggest you go about obtaining a Lazy boy recliner
1. While seated on your throne of decadence you can eat, sleep and watch TV all in the same place.
2. go about purchasing all the cable channels available and a big screen TV because who are you kidding you will end up spending almost every waking hour skimming through infomercials and other pointless shows.
B) You will also need to avoid those awkward invitations to go out.
1. While being a person of leisure you will learn to become cynical and therefore avoid all human interactions.
2. If asked to go to a party say no, I have some pressing TV watching to attend to.
3. Your remote is your sword never leave it, it is your partner for the rest of your shut-in life which will be happy and possibly short.
Transitions
III. What does all this end up getting you? Happiness of course, which you’ll need to find!
A) Truly enjoying your new found life is essential, it is in reality the pursuit of all humans to minimize working time and increase.
B) Finding the happiness in this new world we call slackerism!
1. First off, there may be several different things which give happiness in this world and you will need to find it an exploit it for all its worth. After all this will be the only thing you’ll have for the remainder of your life.
2. For some it might be video games, if that is the case find an Online game that involves role playing, they are addicting as crack! Not only can you make fun of all the losers but you will start playing and forget about time completely
3. Another is the all might Television which if, that is the case purchase a TIVO or DVR immediately!!! That way you can scan through the guide and fill up your entire day with recorded shows from when you slept.
4. The final and my favorite is the internet. If you have a quest for knowledge but hate going out to learn, the internet is your friend. There you can find a wealth of information and forums to show off to fellow shut-ins about how you are the all mighty King Fublogling.
a) There you can also start a blog or online journal of sorts where you can share your complaints and is an outlet for you to cry about how crappy your life is.
Conclusions: So now that you know how to reduce work time, increase leisure time and maximize happiness, get out there and indulge yourself with all the selfish desires in your heart!
Importance: Most everyone in college has already put a foot forward to this life style, you all know that it would be great to lay back and do nothing the rest of your life. So why not finish it once and for all, get out there and accomplish nothing!
Brandon Price
How to take it easy in life.
General Purpose: To teach
Specific Purpose: To teach my audience how to live their lives without accomplishment.
Central Idea: To teach my audience about how to live an unfulfilling life with these easy and fun steps to follow.
Introduction:
Attention: Have you ever thought about a life without any worries filled with moments of complacent bliss, so glorious in fact that society shuns it?
Importance: Today so many people run on auto-pilot, going to and fro from their jobs to their homes, well why not just cut out that job part completely? Living the easy life will increase pleasure and make you happily unaware of the problems outside.
Creditability: I’d have to say that I am the greatest test subject for this kind of lifestyle and having lived it for several years; I am well informed with the methods and the results.
Preview: In this speech you to will learn how to maximize your laziness and decrease the amount of time you spend working each week while achieving absolutely nothing!
Body
I. First off we have to discuss how you will fund this life long expedition in laziness.
A) Finding the right job with a balance of easy and decent pay kind be difficult but it is possible, A job life a night security guard or a job where you can easily slip off into the night and play your hand held video game are some examples.
1. Now balancing your schedule of TV watching and video game playing with work is the next important part to funding your lifestyle of leisure.
2. I’d suggest finding a job within 2 min of work so after those late nights of online gaming you can make it to work within in minutes of waking up.
B) Another possible method of funding is Good Ol’ mommy and daddy.
1. Now you have to gain access to their hearts, they may sound a tad evil but you are going to have to comprise some of your morals from your old life to successfully achieve the desired results.
2. You can live with them or move out but this is definitely going to be the highest return for least amount of actual work.
C) The last method is similar to the last but it is a bit more difficult, finding a sugar daddy or mommy
1. I haven’t met too many of these types of people in my days they go about funding their lives through leaching off of their significant others
2. To keep this up you have to give yourself over to submission and greater control by that other “rich” man or women.
Transition
II. Increasing the laziness factor is something that may take careful planning
A) To truly utilize the time you have available for laziness I suggest you go about obtaining a Lazy boy recliner
1. While seated on your throne of decadence you can eat, sleep and watch TV all in the same place.
2. go about purchasing all the cable channels available and a big screen TV because who are you kidding you will end up spending almost every waking hour skimming through infomercials and other pointless shows.
B) You will also need to avoid those awkward invitations to go out.
1. While being a person of leisure you will learn to become cynical and therefore avoid all human interactions.
2. If asked to go to a party say no, I have some pressing TV watching to attend to.
3. Your remote is your sword never leave it, it is your partner for the rest of your shut-in life which will be happy and possibly short.
Transitions
III. What does all this end up getting you? Happiness of course, which you’ll need to find!
A) Truly enjoying your new found life is essential, it is in reality the pursuit of all humans to minimize working time and increase.
B) Finding the happiness in this new world we call slackerism!
1. First off, there may be several different things which give happiness in this world and you will need to find it an exploit it for all its worth. After all this will be the only thing you’ll have for the remainder of your life.
2. For some it might be video games, if that is the case find an Online game that involves role playing, they are addicting as crack! Not only can you make fun of all the losers but you will start playing and forget about time completely
3. Another is the all might Television which if, that is the case purchase a TIVO or DVR immediately!!! That way you can scan through the guide and fill up your entire day with recorded shows from when you slept.
4. The final and my favorite is the internet. If you have a quest for knowledge but hate going out to learn, the internet is your friend. There you can find a wealth of information and forums to show off to fellow shut-ins about how you are the all mighty King Fublogling.
a) There you can also start a blog or online journal of sorts where you can share your complaints and is an outlet for you to cry about how crappy your life is.
Conclusions: So now that you know how to reduce work time, increase leisure time and maximize happiness, get out there and indulge yourself with all the selfish desires in your heart!
Importance: Most everyone in college has already put a foot forward to this life style, you all know that it would be great to lay back and do nothing the rest of your life. So why not finish it once and for all, get out there and accomplish nothing!
