Dr Wok
Retired Orphan
I procrastinate like there's no tomorrow.plg%%Dragoon, and loving it!%%
Posts: 153
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Post by Dr Wok on Aug 9, 2006 23:38:52 GMT -5
I don't know if it's the age or the relationship, but I just feel like it's the next step. I can agree with that. I know my marriage may not be "text book," or coincide with the statistics, but every step of it has so far felt natural and right. I dated my wife for less than three months before we were engaged, got married two months later, bought a house the next year and now we're expecting our first child within the next two weeks. One step after another it's just felt right. So yeah, I'm not saying that's how it happens with everyone, or even that that's how it should happen, but we just clicked on a lot of different things and it's worked out wonderfully since. And I plan to see it continues to work in the future. ^^
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Post by Bridger - Retired Paladin on Aug 10, 2006 1:35:07 GMT -5
Asking someone to change major values, or asking yourself to change major values, will only lead to problems. +1 Tempy Markus, life isn't about what happens to you, it's about how you react to it. I have seen some similiar stuff, some of it changes you, it can't be undone, but eventually, the old baggage should wind up where it belongs, in the dumpster, the good things, you keep around. Looking back, I remember a lot of the positive things ppl have done, and have left the bad things behind. Like the girl that brought me the bday cake as a surpise and brought tears to my eyes. I wasn't dating her, she wasn't trying to get laid, she just made me feel so special. More so than any long term significant other I've had before. That's the kind of person I want to be like. I don't even really recall stuff like being shot at in the military or seeing someone get hurt. Writing this I had to think "what fucked up things happened to me?" Why would I want to remember that sh*t? Occasionally I remember it, then if anyone's around I play it off as a joke, but the ones close to me know I'm not joking "let me tell you, that whole being shot at thing, it sucks, fck that". There's too many ppl doing to many good things. Maybe it's easier for some ppl than others, I just can't call the bad stuff as easily. But then again, I also quit watching the news, and quit seeing certain types of violent movies because I really don't want to be constantly bombarded by that stuff. Some would attack me as being "uninformed" and maybe I am, but the hell with it, this is my life and I'll be damned if I am going to allow myself to be bombarded by that crap.
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Post by Markus on Aug 10, 2006 8:07:08 GMT -5
But then again, I also quit watching the news, and quit seeing certain types of violent movies because I really don't want to be constantly bombarded by that stuff. Some would attack me as being "uninformed" and maybe I am, but the hell with it, this is my life and I'll be damned if I am going to allow myself to be bombarded by that crap. That's another thing that has affected marriage imo. Media. The media/hollywood has decided that we are all to look a certain way, be a certain way, marry certain people for certain reasons. Everyones values are all fucked up. The days of Romeo and Julliet are a thing of the past... People are obsessed with having 1.8 kids, a nice house, car, etc... No one really spends any time trying to create a healthy environment for child reering (sp or w/e the word is, its 9AM). No one spends anytime trying to work on there relationships. Both mother and father have a career. Neither of them -needs- the other. Divorce is a very feasible option if shit hits the fan. 'Fuck you, I'm taking 0.9 of the kids and 50% of everything else.' Anyways, I'll rant and bitch more later. I need to get to work
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Post by Nauren on Aug 10, 2006 8:39:48 GMT -5
I disagree Markus...our relationship and marriage is about each other.. Divorce is not a viable option. We both are interested in our carreer but mostly for each others happiness.
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Post by Jonathan on Aug 10, 2006 10:18:19 GMT -5
It's amazing to me how open some of you are. Not that I think it's a bad thing. Just to be able to say "I don't give a fuck if anyone judges me for this." When we say "EO is family," that means a lot to some of us. And to some of us, hell, a lot of us, EO is why we "play" this "game." I know for a fact I talk more openly to, say Shalyn, than I do any of my r/l friends.
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Post by Markus on Aug 10, 2006 11:18:55 GMT -5
I disagree Markus...our relationship and marriage is about each other.. Divorce is not a viable option. We both are interested in our carreer but mostly for each others happiness. I didn't say you and I didn't say me. I was speaking in general. Check out the American equivalent of Census Canada. You'll see what I am talking about. Best of luck to you, your marriage and family. In no way at all am I wishing for it to fail.
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_Code
Retired Orphan
Pas De Cadeaux.
Posts: 2,804
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Post by _Code on Aug 10, 2006 11:25:58 GMT -5
the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Hate evokes emotion, lack of empathy is the true blow.
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Post by Markus on Aug 10, 2006 12:18:32 GMT -5
the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Hate evokes emotion, lack of empathy is the true blow. In that case.... I HATE YOU ALL!!!! /em runs to his room crying
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Post by Nauren on Aug 10, 2006 12:23:12 GMT -5
I've always said love is not a feeling or emotion...its a state of being. Happy, Sad, Depressed, Angry, etc can all be felt without any altercation or inspiration from any other living person. Where as Love requires another person to be involved. You can't possibly love if there is nobody TO love.
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Post by shalyn on Aug 10, 2006 12:49:07 GMT -5
<3 Jon
and Markus, man everyone has baggage. Everyone, I don't give a shit what you all say. I have it myself! My father stopped communicating with and seeing me when I was about 15. He never paid child support, but before that we were best buds. I'd go over one a weekend, we'd watch stupid movies, Ren and Stimpy, eat pizza, wake up late, start over. But he is an insane man, and I guess having a child and realizing it was too much for him. Or maybe he wanted to spare me his insanity. Either way, when he stopped seeing me, and then talking to me, I thought it was something I had done. When I got a boyfriend I thought "How can he really love me if my own father turned me away?" and it created a lot of insecurity, and honestly it still exists inside of me.
My point is, just because we see our past and feel its effects in a certain way, doesn't mean others will see it the same. Neither Kevin or Oz, I'm certain, ever thought "No wonder her dad stopped communicating with her." And so I can say with confidence I don't think your girlfriend ever thinks "No wonder he was dealt such a crappy card in life". You are who you are, and I think the one person you have to convince to accept it right now is you. Once you do that, you'll stop wondering and start moving on.
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Ruuk
Retired Orphan
EO's Main Event!
Durka durka~!plg%%SMN merits...I hope%%
Posts: 3,357
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Post by Ruuk on Aug 10, 2006 15:02:05 GMT -5
/welcome motions everyone
.....
Don't move, I'll get a towel...
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Post by Sosa on Aug 11, 2006 8:25:34 GMT -5
Sorry for going so far back in the topic, but being someone who spent most of my free time (ha) playing FFXI, I had a hard time understanding this. So... I figured I'd translate it for the rest of you who haven't seen it yet, to make things easier.
Translation:
I think I could debate forever about why marriages tend to fail more often than they did in the past, but as far as people getting married less often... I'd say it's mostly due to the cultural shifts we've seen in the last few decades. Are women considered truly equal in our values now? We still have a lot of work to do, but it is true that women are much less dependent on men (and thus, marriage) than they were in the past. My two gil.
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Post by tarick on Aug 11, 2006 8:35:19 GMT -5
There are downsides to static parties of course. You're at the mercy of their schedule. It can be a month before your static finds a time to xp together. If I want to party now, chances are, my static isn't in the mood to xp. I usually end up just soloing. I could hire a PL, but if my static mate found out, she'd be pissed.
Not only that, but with a static, things get boring. You always line up the same way and do the same thing. There's no variation in job or race. If your static is adventurous enough, maybe they'll let you throw a midget in the back row, or sub thf and use SA+howling fist, but chances are slim.
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Post by Sosa on Aug 11, 2006 11:09:27 GMT -5
I tend to solo a lot too...
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_Code
Retired Orphan
Pas De Cadeaux.
Posts: 2,804
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Post by _Code on Aug 11, 2006 11:29:23 GMT -5
even with a live in girlfriend, Soloing tends to be my strong point >.>
I can shadow with the best of them...
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