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Post by Nauren on Aug 9, 2006 13:24:38 GMT -5
*fixed it ^^
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_Code
Retired Orphan
Pas De Cadeaux.
Posts: 2,804
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Post by _Code on Aug 9, 2006 13:26:34 GMT -5
hehe, what about DE code??? DE and MD are both free of Commonlaw bindings. thank god
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Post by Yunalenne on Aug 9, 2006 13:36:13 GMT -5
Oh, sorry. I thought I read that as PA and MD. My mistake.
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_Code
Retired Orphan
Pas De Cadeaux.
Posts: 2,804
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Post by _Code on Aug 9, 2006 13:41:03 GMT -5
No worries ^^ You read this as PA and MD: DE was mentioned earlier
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Post by Bridger - Retired Paladin on Aug 9, 2006 15:42:46 GMT -5
I also think that marriage comes naturally just like dating does. It just happens. Well, at least for me, dating has NEVER "just happened". I went out and talked to every woman I saw, and then when I liked her I asked her out. As far as the less educated getting married, let me tell you this quick story. I was dating a girl, things were mediocre at best when I start telling her some of the details of my job and what we are working on. Her response: "That's so interesting (she wasn't kidding), that's why I wanted to date someone like you who has a job in an interesting field. The bartender, he would have no chance, I won't date one of them... blah blah blah". So the girl just told me that she wouldn't have considered dating me if I didn't have the education I did, and she wouldn't take the time to get to know someone who didn't have a good job. Such a turnoff, I ended up leaving in the middle of the night while in bed with her, and brokeup with her a few days later. I just thought it was odd how some ppl pick their dates based ONRY on job and education. I'd rather have someone that got to know me and liked me. pfff.... doubt that's gonna happen.
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Post by Nauren on Aug 9, 2006 15:50:13 GMT -5
lol by trying to pick people who aren't interested in material things is no different then picking people based on material things. it kind of makes you no different then them..your still makign a stipulation on the type of chick you want to date.
Key to finding the right person is to not look at someone and think how much you can change them, but how much your willing to change for them.
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Post by Bridger - Retired Paladin on Aug 9, 2006 17:29:01 GMT -5
I just don't want to date someone who thinks that they are "better than" or "too good" for other types of people, such as the bartenders she felt the need to talk poorly about. But yes, we did have in common that we each had dating stipulations. I think everyone does.
Well, at least I know that I could be unhappily married to some woman who would pick me soley based of off my education, job, and income lol. That's one of the reasons why I like to tell new people I meet that I'm unemployed lmao.
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Post by tempus on Aug 9, 2006 18:19:25 GMT -5
I grew up never really having a dad, and yet married anyways. Also, the only set of grandparents that I really know, have been divorced for my entire life. So Ive always been very reluctant to get married. Of course, my marriage didnt last, and we shouldnt have... However, it wasnt a problem with the idea of marriage, we just were incompatible on one very core value, unfortunately. Anyways, when I was married, my wife always made more money than me, anywhere from a 2/3 to a 1/2 ratio. What bothered me, and continues to bother me isnt that she earned more money, its how little I earn. For example, if I made 80k a year and my spouse made 150k, as long as we both like our jobs I wouldnt give a damn. Or even 40k/60k. But the fact that I live below the poverty level, well that bothers me. And it certainly doesnt help finding the type of women who interest me (see the next bit). Our education is the same, 2 year degrees, though she helped support me (and gave me the drive to do college again), so she had it first. Education isnt the largest factor for me, but intelligence is. Intelligence usually goes along with some sort of drive or ambition, so women with it tend to excel. And women who excel, generally arent attracted to losers for long term relationships. Which goes hand in hand with that article. I came to the conclusion over a decade ago that I will be single for most of my life. It still amazes me that I was married, if only for a while. It will not suprise me at all if I remain single for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll get lucky, we'll see. And a quote that reveals some of my thoughts about being single versus being in a relationship. "Masturbation is cheap, clean, convenient, and free of any possibility of wrongdoing -- and you don't have to go home in the cold. But it's lonely. "
-t
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Post by tempus on Aug 9, 2006 18:23:30 GMT -5
Key to finding the right person is to not look at someone and think how much you can change them, but how much your willing to change for them. Any relationship is full of compromises, the key lies in finding someone you only have to compromise on little things with. Asking someone to change major values, or asking yourself to change major values, will only lead to problems. We all want someone to love us just how we are, support us when we want to grow, and push us just a little to be better than we currently are. Too much pushing and not enough acceptance isnt a healthy relationship for a couple, it's a personal coach or motivator and trainee. -t
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@Ginny@
New Member
plg%%my baby :P%%
Posts: 140
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Post by @Ginny@ on Aug 9, 2006 19:10:51 GMT -5
wow tempus i agree with you.
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Post by Markus on Aug 9, 2006 19:23:24 GMT -5
My parents were never legally married and never common law husband and wife. Neither of them have much of a formal education, but my mother is fairly intelligent and well informed. My father has pretty good social skills for an unintelligent man and looks half his age. My mother, probably has better social skills then she would like to believe but probably looks twice her age... I spent my entire adolescence swearing to not repeat the same mistakes my parents made. I believed this would guarantee me a life above the poverty line. So I don't drink or smoke cigarettes. I have never physically abused any of my g/f's and the last 10 or so years I lived at my parents house, I stopped physically abusing my brothers (what can I say, I raised them and that was the only form of discipline I knew at the ages of 7-16 years old). So, instead I do drugs and was increasingly violent and increasingly involved in criminal activities. Two beatings (of me), my father getting his ass kicked by a customer, seeing a friend get stabbed in the neck, seeing someone (stranger) get shot and meeting my current g/f (of almost 4 years now) slowed me down... I just slowly but surely started leaving those people behind me and that way of life. Unfortunately, some of it is harder to get rid of then other stuff. Lol your probably thinking, wtf?? Markus is way off topic. Nope. As you can see, I am an open book. So any girl I meet, will find all of this out eventually. It is a shit ton of baggage and I would be lying if I said I didn't need rehab and therapy. It's fucked up though, through out all that shit, I always maintained a 80+ average (in school) and kept my jobs. My point is, who the fuck in there right mind would marry me? My g/f has been waiting for me to change for 3 years now. I keep trying to change and not being able to. What can I say, I am someone who lives in the moment. I want pleasure and happiness now... Shit, I have been waiting 27 years for that happiness. I keep trying to break up with my girl but she keeps not letting me. She believes I will change, she believes things will be like they were at the beginning. Beginnings are when not all of the truth is out. So it is easier to hide it all and be what they want you to be. So it is easier to be blissfully in love. We will never get married. People with habits don't buy engagement rings or pay for weddings. This article is dead on on many points imho. Poor people are fucked from teh start. How the fuck am I supposed to get a higher education and your telling me w/o that higher education I will probably not hook up with a wealthy educated woman? So what's left? The dumb poor girls? Wich breeds what? More dumb poor people. The cycle goes on and on and on... What does poverty breed? Ignorance and violence. Wtf? Where does it end? So what will happen? My g/f will grow up a little more and get a little wiser. She will wake up and realize that it is possible to love again and it is much easier to love someone of the same social class and education. She has a Uniersity diploma and is already planning on going back for her Masters. Of course, she wants to get her finances in order first... The finances that I destroyed. I tried so hard to NOT be like my parents and ended up being exactly like them. I just found my own special way of being like them... Probably a worse way... Thanks for listening, you've been a great group
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Post by tempus on Aug 9, 2006 19:32:00 GMT -5
Dude, you ever want to change, I'll cheer you on. Other than that, Ill take your bitchy ass now as a friend and just deal. =P
Now if only I could motivate myself...
-t
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Post by lockejv on Aug 9, 2006 21:32:05 GMT -5
It's amazing to me how open some of you are. Not that I think it's a bad thing. Just to be able to say "I don't give a fuck if anyone judges me for this."
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Post by tempus on Aug 9, 2006 21:43:37 GMT -5
Locke, all I can say is look at the nice big bold quote in my sig. I am how I am.
-t
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Post by Markus on Aug 9, 2006 22:17:46 GMT -5
It's amazing to me how open some of you are. Not that I think it's a bad thing. Just to be able to say "I don't give a fuck if anyone judges me for this." When I was younger, I was obsessed with what people thought of me. I was the class clown in primary school and my first year of high school. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to be popular. Sometime in secondary 1 I realized I would probably never completely fit in (at least not in that school)... I was a giant compared to the other kids and a little over weight (didnt show -as- much because I was so tall). Basically my clothes and shoes were growing faster then my parents made money. My family name is Prince, you do the math, you know how cruel kids can be lol. They were all wealthy, very wealthy. We were barely scrapping by. So I started to chill with people from my neighborhood instead; immigrants/minorities are froced to go to French schools in Quebec. Since I was born here, I could go to an English school. So we didnt go to the same schools. But they were my friends none the less. They accepted me for just being me. It dawned on me... "I don't bust my ass to impress these people and they treat me better then the people at school do." Since about grade 8, I adopted an "I don't give a shit attitude". I don't care what people think. I'm 27. When I was a 15 year old, english, poor white kid, wearing a pair of black and silver Ewing's and getting called wannabee by the blacks that I didnt know and a sell out by the whites I didnt know... I just didn't give a fuck. (Funny how shit changes you Beastie Boy/Cypress Hill/Vanilla Ice listening motherfuckers, your -all- listening to Hip Hop now ) They don't pay my bills. They don't listen to me when my shit is all fucked up. They didn't live what I lived through or saw what I saw. They never took the time to say everything will be ok. They didn't care about me. So why should I care about them? Lol, I won't lie though. Some people can't handle my brutal honesty and openess. It scares them away. Some people rather be lied to I don't think everyone should go as far as I go. But I sincrerely believe that people should not give importance to what people you don't love/care about say. All they want to do is tear you down. If you let them, they will! EDIT: Sometimes even the people who love you try and tear you down. So I guess you just need to use your judgement on what you allow to have an impact on your life...
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