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Post by Grimgore on Feb 23, 2010 10:02:17 GMT -5
This is a thread to post any weird random funny wow stuff you come across so we can all get a laugh. Screenshots, stuff you saw in /trade, art, stories, posts, anything. To get things started, here's Kologarn talking with Yogg just before Ulduar went to live servers.
Yogg-Saron: Okay, so this whole plan is going pretty well. I've gunked up a tree in Grizzly Hills, I've enslaved the Keepers of Ulduar, and I've set up an impassable ravine between my inner sanctum and the outside world, so nobody can get in to stop me.
Kologarn: AND I WILL STAND IN IT.
Yogg-Saron: Seriously not necessary, K-Garn. I've got that whole thing under control. Check out the map. It says that's "The Shattered Walkway." It used to just be "The Walkway." Until I shattered it. No walkway, no progress. Pure effin' genius.
Kologarn: AND THAT IS WHERE I WILL SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF THEM.
Yogg-Saron: No, dude. You don't need to go there at all. You can pretty much just take the week off. Maybe meet some ladies. I can't even remember the last time you hooked up.
Kologarn: NONE SHALL PASS.
Yogg-Saron: Well, that's the point of a huge ravine. So I don't really need your help.
Kologarn: I CAN CRUSH AN ARMORED TAUREN IN MY POWERFUL STONE GRIP.
Yogg-Saron: Yeah, but the tauren can't get over the ravine anyway. And it will be extra funny, because they could totally get over the ravine if they could use their flying mounts, but flying mounts are disabled in Ulduar. That will make them crazy. See, that's what I do.
Kologarn: WITH MY OVERHEAD SMASH, I CAN MAKE THE EARTH SHAKE. MY FOCUSED EYEBEAMS TURN MY VERY RAGE INTO LAZERS.
Yogg-Saron: Okay, I guess if you really want a crack at them. But it's fine with me if you just want to knock off. What's your hard mode?
Kologarn: HARD MODE?
Yogg-Saron: Can you, like, buff yourself to do double damage, or have twice as much health or something?
Kologarn: I AM VERY LARGE.
Yogg-Saron: Fair enough. Go hang out there. I guess, even if they beat you, I've still got my bases covered with the whole shattering-the-walkway plan.
Kologarn: YEAH. I DON'T SEE ANY WAY YOU'LL BE SORRY ABOUT THIS.
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Post by Jonathan on Feb 23, 2010 12:51:04 GMT -5
haha
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Post by Grimgore on Feb 26, 2010 12:05:04 GMT -5
From the Desk of Rhonin
Dear Idiot,
I am writing in regard to your recent completion of the "Higher Learning" achievement. Wow. I can't believe you actually did that. We just put that in there as a joke. We didn't think anybody would be dumb enough to actually do what you have done.
I am seriously laughing right now with my hot elf wife about what a total, unmitigated putz you are. We're going to still be laughing about it later, even as we are athletically getting busy, Hogger-style on a bearskin rug. Enjoy the image of me laughing at you while just going totally wild on a beautiful elf-chick.
I mean, partially, I will be laughing because my life is so great. But mostly, I'll be laughing at you. Have you ever touched a girl? Seriously? Did you get arrested for it?
Okay, you look confused. I know that you look confused, even though I am writing this hours before you are reading it, because I am super-awesome and can travel through time, so before I wrote this letter, I traveled to the future and watched how dumb you looked reading your mail, and now I am laughing about that too.
Here's what I did. I invented magic books that appear out of thin air in eight random places, and then created an achievement rewarding you for finding them. But then I made a bunch of other books that can appear and disappear in the same place, instead of the book people want to read for the achievement. So, basically, each book is on the shelf for an average of three minutes every twenty-four hours.
What is so funny is that I know you got the achievement by sitting there, staring at a bookshelf, for hours on end, waiting for a book to magically appear. And when it finally did, it wasn't the right one. That Conjuration book spawns right next to the place where I hang out, so I watched you spend your Saturday night last week staring at that bookshelf for three hours, and then a copy of "Khadgar's Journal" spawned.
But I am glad you've finally done it. So I am enclosing the epic saga, "The Schools of Arcane Magic: Mastery." It's about a holy man who takes an oath celibacy, and dedicates his life to staring at bookshelves. I consider it a satire. I was going to rig it to disappear in three minutes, which would have been kind of awesome, but I actually feel just a little bit sorry for you, so I am going to let you keep it. I hope you enjoy it.
Actually, I did put a little enchantment on it. It will teleport you to Archmage Vargoth's quarters in the spires of Dalaran. That's not a joke on you. It's a joke on him. He loves having really stupid guys appear out of nowhere in his bedroom. Tell him I said to conjure a little elemental that will follow you around pointing and laughing. You're probably dumb enough to think that's a reward, rather than a punishment.
Also, go ahead and spam the achievement in trade chat a few times. I already know you did it, because I was there, in the future. Look how impressed everyone is. This is why I invented the /golfclap.
Peace. Rhonin, out.
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Post by Sosa on Feb 27, 2010 21:43:49 GMT -5
^ Rofl. ^
And that is exactly why I don't bother with achievement-whoring.
Rhonin creeps me out.
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Post by Aeri on Feb 28, 2010 14:02:59 GMT -5
Found this on the lock forums, made me giggle.
It's how to beat other classes in PvP when all else fails.
WARRIORS. Weakness: Fondness for small animals Warriors rely on a rage bar to do pretty much anything, so this one is pretty obvious. Go to one of those sites that your mother is always sending you links to-- you know the ones I'm talking about. The ones with all the adorable photos that put you into insulin shock after the sugary sweetness of so much condensed cuteness wears off. Print out a color photo of the most adorable baby bunny or kitten on the site, and shove it right in their faces. Goodbye, rage bar! "Awwwwwwwww... it's... so... cuuuuuu--" *CONFLAG*.
HUNTERS. Weakness: Dumb As it happens, the hunter's pet is 1000 times more intelligent than the hunter. Fortunately for you, they are still pets. Buy yourself a box of pet treats, throw one in the opposite direction, and run. The pet will take off after the treat. The hunter is a non-issue, because each and every one of them is alt-tabbed on the Damage Dealing forum posting complaints about how their class isn't viable for PvP or raiding.
SHAMAN. Weakness: More emotional than a character from a Brontë novel Stomp their totems and they burst into tears. A nice touch to generate even more QQ: send your pet to kill the Tremor Totem, then fear them, then unequip your weapon and PUNCH the rest of the totems while they look on helplessly.
DRUIDS. Weakness: Fondness for large men dressed like small animals /yell "Who wants a free ticket to the Furry convention?" When they come running to collect, *CONFLAG* right to the face.
TREE DRUIDS. Weakness: Your Banish spell (1) They never, ever, ever, EVER see it coming. (2) It's hilarious.
MAGES. Weakness: Jealousy Use a healthstone, and then pour a mana potion out into the dirt at their feet. Say "Hey look, my mana bar is still full!" Watch them spontaneously combust in rage.
PALADINS. Weakness: Goody-two shoes "Oh no, that old woman needs help crossing the street!" Never fails. Also, note that a sizable percentage of them will spend all their time chasing around your pet because they really, really, REALLY need to press that Turn Evil button just in case someone asks what exactly they do that couldn't be done better by a Warrior or DK.
PRIESTS. Weakness: Holy Nova fixation Every single priest in WoW would, if given the chance, do nothing but spam Holy Nova. They see what you do with Seed of Corruption... and the envy is killing, yes, KILLING THEM. For these guys, you will need to casually but convincingly tell them that you found a thread on Elitist Jerks about a viable Holy Nova spec for PvP. When they alt-tab to check it out, *CONFLAG*! (Note: it doesnt matter if they've fallen for this trick before. They will ALWAYS look to see if someone finally made their dreams come true.)
ROGUES. Weakness: . . . Try... diplomacy? Hey, there's always a first time.
DEATH KNIGHTS. Weakness: Boy bands It's a well-known fact that this class is populated almost entirely by teenagers (actual age or mental age) who saw the words "plate wearing + free mounts + generates power + DoTs AND melee attacks + overpowered pets = EZMODE" and said "Yes, Please." To deal with them, just /yell "OMG IT'S THE JONAS BROTHERS!" and watch them squeal like little girls.
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Post by Satan's Gift on Mar 1, 2010 7:54:49 GMT -5
ROGUES. Weakness: . . . Try... diplomacy? Hey, there's always a first time. ROFL ;D The Dk one is almost as good
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Post by Sosa on Mar 1, 2010 13:13:09 GMT -5
Yarr, the Rogue one was priceless.
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gats
New Member
Posts: 53
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Post by gats on Mar 2, 2010 7:52:53 GMT -5
SHAMAN. Weakness: More emotional than a character from a Brontë novel Stomp their totems and they burst into tears. A nice touch to generate even more QQ: send your pet to kill the Tremor Totem, then fear them, then unequip your weapon and PUNCH the rest of the totems while they look on helplessly. so very True
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Post by Grimgore on Mar 10, 2010 7:16:11 GMT -5
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