Post by warrior on Aug 6, 2006 17:22:15 GMT -5
Forever wandering......drifting on the wind....
Sailing on the sea of fate...with only the wind of ambition to fill the sails.
Always have i wandered, never staying in one spot. Always in search of -something- that can or cannot be attained. Something tangible, yet intangible. Real and not real.
Dedications will come and go, some fulfilled, and some unfulfilled.
Promises and convictions made. Some kept, some postponed.
In light if some recent remarks that has come to my attention, I feel I owe all orphans an explanation to why i have ghosted myself from this honorable guild of respected adventurers.
For a long time I have been searching for something.
Something that is real and not real. Understandably, this is no explanation at all.
During the last part of my engagement of battles with EO, i began to wander in my own mind. A few issues had began to foster, like seeds germinating in a small pot.
Like any large organization with larger amounts of people, there will be those that have hidden agendas that are not in-line with the whole of the organization. Some have shown their hands, and it leaves me with a wanting of revenge. A need for blood to spill. I had begun to ask the question.....how many more with a hidden agenda are going to take the mask off and abandon those they have called comrade.
With only a hand full of people I felt i could trust with my life{figure of speech, of course} i felt my days were numbered, and the sails began to fill once again. I felt i didnt belong anymore, and -something- was tugging me away again.
My heart was, and still is, a part of EO. I dont care about the point system, or the payout system. I havent, and dont think, i will ever find a place that has more honorable and devoted people in one spot, then i have seen in EO. And regardless of the actions of a few that has tarnished EO with ill-action, i have seen the heart of EO.
Markus, Tempus, Jonathan, Krazi, Miruuk, Ody, Aly, Nedi, Photon,Nauren, Codeine { and a few i cant remember } i have alot of respect for you all, regardless of words or actions in the past. It is your loyalty that has shown me what EO means. A place of honor, even with honorless action made hastily. A place of loyalty in the wake of of turncoats and deserters. And a devotion to a group of adventurers in the midst of liars, cheaters, and backstabbers.
I have not abandoned you, nor have i turned my back.
I'm just sinking into the shadows for a time. Granted, the actions taken against a real life friend of mine, i felt, were totally unwarrented. Understandably, it was most likely the timing that made the decision. Right or wrong, it was done. EO made a choice, as did I. More actions and words ensued over time, and more decisions made. It's in the past now.
The sole reason, that had been building for sometime, why i walked away from EO is:
I wanted to improve myself through gear and merit. As well as a few experiments of tactics(/pld, food/gear issues, wepskill dmg/gear issues) all of which were going to take alot of time and money.
but with a fulltime presence, and a limited financial gain, it began to wear on me.
Takeing a death for time i'm no stranger to. some may call this honorable, others might call it stupidity. Dieing/xp loss doesnt bother me so long as it's worth it. To give others those precious few extra seconds to finish a cure/nuke/provoke/wepskill, if one dies for the extra time for the suvival of the whole is not my problem.
When i die 10 times during a dynamis run, and the ungrateful would call me dumb for dying too much, what am i to think? Should i be a wimp and let other people die instead of me?
Should i cry when the mages dont heal me because they are midcast, or healing someone else?
If i did, then i wouldn't be a warrior. death is inevitable to the warrior class.
I'm not saying i should be regarded as a hero, even tho i have performed some extremely heroic actions in the past.
I'm not after sympathy, or trying to glorify suicidal actions.
Whenever i would fight side by side an orphan, it made me feel that much stronger. This merry band of fellows that has seen it's fair share of ups and downs. Almost like becoming a part of the knights templar, or King Aurthur's round table.
Some tactics work, some dont. Some look good on paper, some dont. When i would express and idea, and site the advantages, it was almost like others(not all) would mock it. Virtualy stone it to death in text form.
I began to feel like a hired fighter. An automotous axe-wielding berzerker. Almost....like i was being pushed out. My sails began to fill, and the ship lurched as the force pushed it into the abyss of the timeline.Powerless, and not powerless to stop the movement, I dont say goodbye to that which i have called home.
Only.....
Untill the next time my path crosses yours....
I will rejoin the ranks, if you'll have me
And fight under EO's banner, once again
Farewell.....and wherever your adventures take you
Tread carefully, keep your wits about you
Always hold your head up high with pride
For you are one of Edea's Orphans
A force to be reckoned with throughout Vana'Diel
Our paths will cross again.........in time....
Sailing on the sea of fate...with only the wind of ambition to fill the sails.
Always have i wandered, never staying in one spot. Always in search of -something- that can or cannot be attained. Something tangible, yet intangible. Real and not real.
Dedications will come and go, some fulfilled, and some unfulfilled.
Promises and convictions made. Some kept, some postponed.
In light if some recent remarks that has come to my attention, I feel I owe all orphans an explanation to why i have ghosted myself from this honorable guild of respected adventurers.
For a long time I have been searching for something.
Something that is real and not real. Understandably, this is no explanation at all.
During the last part of my engagement of battles with EO, i began to wander in my own mind. A few issues had began to foster, like seeds germinating in a small pot.
Like any large organization with larger amounts of people, there will be those that have hidden agendas that are not in-line with the whole of the organization. Some have shown their hands, and it leaves me with a wanting of revenge. A need for blood to spill. I had begun to ask the question.....how many more with a hidden agenda are going to take the mask off and abandon those they have called comrade.
With only a hand full of people I felt i could trust with my life{figure of speech, of course} i felt my days were numbered, and the sails began to fill once again. I felt i didnt belong anymore, and -something- was tugging me away again.
My heart was, and still is, a part of EO. I dont care about the point system, or the payout system. I havent, and dont think, i will ever find a place that has more honorable and devoted people in one spot, then i have seen in EO. And regardless of the actions of a few that has tarnished EO with ill-action, i have seen the heart of EO.
Markus, Tempus, Jonathan, Krazi, Miruuk, Ody, Aly, Nedi, Photon,Nauren, Codeine { and a few i cant remember } i have alot of respect for you all, regardless of words or actions in the past. It is your loyalty that has shown me what EO means. A place of honor, even with honorless action made hastily. A place of loyalty in the wake of of turncoats and deserters. And a devotion to a group of adventurers in the midst of liars, cheaters, and backstabbers.
I have not abandoned you, nor have i turned my back.
I'm just sinking into the shadows for a time. Granted, the actions taken against a real life friend of mine, i felt, were totally unwarrented. Understandably, it was most likely the timing that made the decision. Right or wrong, it was done. EO made a choice, as did I. More actions and words ensued over time, and more decisions made. It's in the past now.
The sole reason, that had been building for sometime, why i walked away from EO is:
I wanted to improve myself through gear and merit. As well as a few experiments of tactics(/pld, food/gear issues, wepskill dmg/gear issues) all of which were going to take alot of time and money.
but with a fulltime presence, and a limited financial gain, it began to wear on me.
Takeing a death for time i'm no stranger to. some may call this honorable, others might call it stupidity. Dieing/xp loss doesnt bother me so long as it's worth it. To give others those precious few extra seconds to finish a cure/nuke/provoke/wepskill, if one dies for the extra time for the suvival of the whole is not my problem.
When i die 10 times during a dynamis run, and the ungrateful would call me dumb for dying too much, what am i to think? Should i be a wimp and let other people die instead of me?
Should i cry when the mages dont heal me because they are midcast, or healing someone else?
If i did, then i wouldn't be a warrior. death is inevitable to the warrior class.
I'm not saying i should be regarded as a hero, even tho i have performed some extremely heroic actions in the past.
I'm not after sympathy, or trying to glorify suicidal actions.
Whenever i would fight side by side an orphan, it made me feel that much stronger. This merry band of fellows that has seen it's fair share of ups and downs. Almost like becoming a part of the knights templar, or King Aurthur's round table.
Some tactics work, some dont. Some look good on paper, some dont. When i would express and idea, and site the advantages, it was almost like others(not all) would mock it. Virtualy stone it to death in text form.
I began to feel like a hired fighter. An automotous axe-wielding berzerker. Almost....like i was being pushed out. My sails began to fill, and the ship lurched as the force pushed it into the abyss of the timeline.Powerless, and not powerless to stop the movement, I dont say goodbye to that which i have called home.
Only.....
Untill the next time my path crosses yours....
I will rejoin the ranks, if you'll have me
And fight under EO's banner, once again
Farewell.....and wherever your adventures take you
Tread carefully, keep your wits about you
Always hold your head up high with pride
For you are one of Edea's Orphans
A force to be reckoned with throughout Vana'Diel
Our paths will cross again.........in time....
